My husband and I celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary this December. I learned that this is called the Crystal Wedding Anniversary.

I discovered that one of the reasons it is called a Crystal Wedding Anniversary is because although the couple has been together and weathered storms in the past 15 years, their relationship or marriage is still fragile. Therefore, they need to continue taking care of each other and their marriage for their marriage to continue and last much longer.

I agree with this. My husband and I have gone through a lot of ups and downs in our marriage. Even though we prayed for each other before getting married, we went through marriage discernment and we have many things in common including our Catholic faith, we still had a lot of disagreements and fights through the years. All these things are good and helpful to keep a couple together. But these do not guarantee a marriage without arguments, disagreements, or fights. This, I believe, is especially true for couples who are strong-willed, passionate, and who are used to taking the lead like firstborns and leaders or managers like my husband and I.

So what helped our marriage to last this long? Let me share some of the lessons I learned as I reflect on the past 15 years of our marriage. Don’t worry, I will not give you 15 lessons or tips!

Marriage Lessons & Tips

#1 Make God a part of your marriage. I believe that if not for God and His grace we would not last this long. Marriage is a vow between the couple and God. It’s not just between my husband and me. If it had been between him and me only, we would have separated a long time ago. But because God is part of our marriage, it was something that we can’t just let go of easily and abandon when things get difficult. God gives us grace every day to try again and again and again. It is His grace that enables us to endure and eventually overcome the challenges of married life.

#2 The strength and length of a marriage depend a lot on the couple’s capacity to forgive each other. I am not very good at this and this is partly because I have a good memory and I am a sensitive person. When I am hurt, I am hurt deeply. And when I remember hurtful moments, I get to feel the emotions again. It’s a miracle that God keeps strengthening me and enabling me to keep on forgiving my husband for the past 15 years. Even though we have many similarities or we value many of the same things, we are still so different from each other. For example, I am an extrovert. He is an introvert. I like talking and sharing my thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. He likes to be on his own. I think one reason there are many single people out there is that it is more convenient to stay single and not live with another person who prefers different things or has a different way of looking at or doing things. Being married and remaining married means that you will have to accept, endure and forgive another person over and over for the rest of your life as you live with that person.

This verse from the Bible reminds me of how the love of God in our hearts can help us to be forgiving. It’s not dependent on our love for each other. Human love is imperfect. God’s love is perfect and unconditional. It is through His love that He pours into our hearts that we are able to transcend our shortcomings and weaknesses and forgive the same person over and over through the years.

“Love covers a multitude of sins.”

– 1 Peter 4:8

#3 To stay married is a decision that the couple needs to make each day of their married lives. Love is a decision. Marriage is a decision. We can’t rely on our feelings alone. Our feelings are temporary and are constantly changing. One moment we are so happy and in love. The next moment, we could be angry already. So we need to make a decision every single day to choose to be married to our spouses and to work on our relationship.

#4 Have children. Children bind husbands and wives. Children force couples to work together and work on their relationship. Whether you have biological children or by adoption, raising children normally moves couples to collaborate and help each other out. Many marriages survived the difficult years because one or both parents thought of the welfare of their children. This was true for me during the most turbulent years of our marriage. I didn’t want my children to have a broken home or to be a product of a broken family. I didn’t want my children to suffer the consequences and heartaches of having to live alternately with a parent or separate from one of his parents or from his siblings. Choosing to work on my marriage is a gift that I give to my children and a sacrifice I was willing to make to keep my children happy and to set an example of how to honor your vow to God and to your spouse.

#5 Make time to do things together as a couple. Time apart is really something that kills a relationship. The more time you spend with each other, the more that you’ll remember to do good things for each other. It also gives you more opportunities to show love both in small and big ways. Whatever is the season that you have in your marriage, try your very best to carve out time for each other even for a few minutes or hours each day. Talk to each other. Ask about each other’s day. Ask how your spouse is doing. Have at least one meal together. The more, the better. Do chores together. Parent kids together. Try new things together. No matter how busy you both are, block out time for each other. Be deliberate. Plan and calendar your times together. Let your spouse know that he/she is important to you by making sure that you are able to make time for your spouse.

I have many other lessons and tips that I would like to you but I still need to cook dinner. So, I will stop here and just proceed in sharing about our simple wedding anniversary celebration this month.

Crystal Wedding Anniversary Celebration

We have stayed home to celebrate our previous wedding anniversaries during the first few years of the pandemic. Since there are fewer health and safety protocols now and the economy is opening up again, we decided to eat out and try a new restaurant with our kids.

My husband chose to eat at BGC since there are more al fresco restaurants to choose from. We chose to eat at Sentro at One Bonifacio. We woke up late that day. Thus, it was already past the usual lunch hour when we arrive there. I think this worked to our advantage because there were fewer people eating in the restaurant when we were there. At some point, we were the only customers left since it was also a weekday (a Monday).

They had big servings. We were too full to order dessert after finishing our main course and our drinks.

We decided to walk around the mall a bit after eating. After that, we bought champagne and headed home.

We rested a bit and attended a Simbang Gabi in our parish. We even asked our parish Priest to bless us after the Mass. Monsignor Melchor David did not only pray a simple prayer over us but gave us the full blessing.

After the Mass, we opened our anniversary gifts to each other and took photos. I gave him crystal gifts — a pair of champagne flutes and a pair of wine glasses. He gave me 2 pillows, 1 for each one of us. I love our gifts for each other. They were useful and things that we really needed and wanted.

Then, we ate cake and enjoyed our champagne with some grapes, chocolates, nuts, raisins, cheese, and crackers.

We capped the night by watching a movie on Netflix.

It was a simple celebration but it made not just my husband and me happy. It made our kids happy also.

Let me end this blog post by sharing a quote.

“No matter how difficult our experience of family life is and has been, there are always blessings to be found if we look hard enough.”

– Companion

I thank God for the grace He has given me and my husband to look beyond the difficulties of married life and to see the countless blessings we received because of our family.