What was one of the significant changes I’ve seen in the last 10 years?

This was a question asked to the contestants of a beauty pageant 3 years ago.

This is my answer.

The change in people’s behaviors because of technology and social media.

Why do I say this?

In the past, when people need to use their mobile phone while in the presence of other people, be it in a meeting or a casual gathering in a resto or even at home or anywhere, people will excuse themselves or apologize for having to take the call or to send a message.

These days, many people no longer look up when being spoken to. They don’t put their phones or gadgets down. They don’t make eye contact. Some would reply while still looking at their screens. Others would totally ignore you or could not notice you.

In the past, when people need to answer or check their mobile phones, it’s usually because of an emergency in the office or someplace else. It’s usually a matter of urgency.

These days, people keep scrolling their news feeds or keep reading on their tablets even when in the presence of family or friends. And to think that there is no breaking news on their news feed or an emergency that they need to read about.

Before, when in a resto and people are waiting for the waiter to take their order or waiting for their order to arrive, people talk to each other.

These days, people easily whip out their mobile phones and read while waiting for one of their family members or friends to finish eating or while waiting for their order. People are so connected to their gadgets. But they ignore the people they are with.

These people who are constantly reading on their devices may not say it with their words but their actions are loud and clear.

“I am not interested to look at you.”

“I am more interested in looking at my news feed.”

“I am more interested in talking, connecting and in being updated with my friends on Facebook than in talking to you, building my relationship with you or getting to know you better.”

People seem to have lost interest in REAL, LIVE CONVERSATIONS and prefer less personal communication through the internet.

And these are things I have observed not just in millennials, but also in younger generations and senior citizens these days. Those who have been accustomed to using the internet and social media have changed their ways. You can see old people also engrossed with their gadgets but not paying attention to those talking to them or not talking with the younger people they are with or close to them physically. Family dynamics have changed a lot!

Before, when people babysit or watch over kids, they tell them stories, read a book or play with them.

These days, when people babysit or watch over kids (old and young alike), the usual default is to hand over a phone or tablet or let the kids watch a video.

Conversations at home or with family members are shorter and less frequent because people are SO CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET. Yet, there is often a disconnect and a lot of improvement needed to strengthen family relationships. If only people would spend more time investing in having real-life conversations instead of chatting only via social media.

I must be old school or traditional and conservative. I get offended when people do these things and I am physically and emotionally present to them. I expect people to converse with me when I am with them. I expect courtesy and manners to be upheld at home and outside the home.

I miss those times when my friends and I would be talking endlessly while waiting for the waiter or for our order. There were no dull moments. There were many bonding moments. We talked about many things… from the spiritual to the silly, from the intellectual to the ordinary.

Some of my “conservative” friends and I agree that good manners and right conduct should be taught again in schools and at home. That’s why I was glad to read in the news yesterday that it is now part of the school curriculum again for elementary students.

It’s not a guarantee, though, that because it will be taught in schools again that kids will practice these values. Role modeling is more effective. Parents and older people around kids should model the right behavior. Otherwise, the actions of the elders, parents most especially, would contradict their words.

As the old adage says, “Action speaks louder than words.”

How about you? Do you consider yourself a conservative?

How do you teach manners and etiquette to your children?